His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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