i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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