Pappa wants mamma naked
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
