Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
