Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
NoShamevember. You game?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
