He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
