I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i dont even know how to be here
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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