# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
