My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
