oh god the rape fog is back!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
