Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he thought i was a dude.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
