i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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