I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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