some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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