yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
A+ Viking dick
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
