I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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