You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
