either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
