i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize