That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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