It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize