omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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