If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
