final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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