I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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