The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
