you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
