I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
