My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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