we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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