Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
