Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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