Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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