I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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