The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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