How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
