I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
