So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
