is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize