32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
