so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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