i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize