I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
