Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
