Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Randomize
