I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Im part way to drunk.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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