he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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