this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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