I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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