So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
