just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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