i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
