I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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