It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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