He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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