is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
