another moral hangover. fuck.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize