I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she smelled like a LAN party
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
