I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I understand Curling. That high.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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