the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
